I think I can, I think I can, I know I can...

We went to Maui with our mom and step-dad in February 2005. We had many adventures that included snorkeling, whale-watching, sight-seeing from a helicopter and driving a VERY narrow road that required us to honk before rounding the sharp corners...just in case someone was coming the other way. Tyler decided he also wanted to take a surfing lesson, so of course we all went to watch. I stood on the rocks with my Nikon and took pictures of him with the zoom lens. This picture is characteristic of Tyler's personality. Nothing is too hard and everything is possible. He always had lofty goals for himself and I knew he could do whatever he wanted to do. It makes me sad when I think about the fact that he won't be able to do the things I know he still wanted to do. It makes me wonder if he wasn't meant for a much higher purpose. I'll never know, but I will continue to wonder.

Every person who knew Tyler was deeply affected by his presence. Those who knew him well, those who knew him in passing and all those in between. I received an email today from a friend of his. She says she wasn't a really close friend, but in the short amount of time they spent together, she felt a connection to him. She told me a story about having an extra ticket to a Poison/Skid Row concert the day of the show and calling everyone she knew get someone to go. Tyler said yes. I know he was not going for the musical experience, but she still laughs when she thinks about him knowing most, if not all, of the words to Skid Row's "I Remember You." They had a few good talks after that, but this is the part she really wanted to share with me. She lost a really close friend to cancer (a neck tumor) several years ago. This was someone she considered the sister she never had. She spent some time talking with Tyler about that loss. She remembers that he expressed how he could not imagine his life without me in it. I had said the same thing to my step-mother this past summer when her brother passed away. I told her I could not comprehend the devastation I would feel if I lost Tyler. Those words still echo in my head. I never imagined...

This friend of Tyler's said something else that really struck me. In reference to the grief around the loss of her friend she said, "it's like standing outside looking through this distorted bubble, just watching life happen inside. It's all cloudy and nothing is shaped right; nothing makes sense." That is so descriptive of how I feel a lot of the time since Tyler's death. You know who you are and I thank you for being open to sharing your experience.