I love how gorgeous Tyler looks in this photo. I was so sure I had posted it before, but I flipped through almost all of my previous posts and I didn't find it. That was hard too...going through the previous posts. When I got to the end, a.k.a. the beginning, Tyler was still alive and desperately wanting to get out of his hospital bed. He wanted to go home. I've said this a bazillion times, but I still can't believe he never left that hospital. He never even left the ICU.
I know I haven't been writing on this blog as much and I know some of you are disappointed. This started out as a way for me to communicate updates on Tyler's condition to friends and family, and after he died, it morphed into a form of grief therapy for me and those who read it. I've loved writing it and probably will continue to makes posts from time to time, but I don't know how often. It will happen when I feel the need to write about it and share those thoughts with others. I'm sorry if this is a let down to anyone, but grief is a living, breathing thing and it evolves. My grief over losing Tyler will always be with me...always...but it will change over time. That doesn't mean that I'm forgetting him. I still think about him daily. I still miss him just as much as I did on the first day he was no longer physically part of my world.
Today Martine and I were rearranging things in the closet and I found two t-shirts of Tyler's that I had kept. One I had given him just this past August. I had bought it for him when I was out on Catalina Island with some friends. I clutched both shirts tightly in my arms for a few seconds and then I cried. My tears over the loss of Tyler will always flow freely. I have felt no greater pain in my lifetime and the scars run deep, to the very core of my soul.
8 comments:
This is YOUR blog, it's YOUR grief. You're kind enough to share the journey - the photos, the stories, the tears... You run this blog the way YOU need!!
Hmm!
You run this blog the way YOU need!
(that's what was cut off)
Such an extraordinary young man. Thank you for this photo Dionne.
Thank you.
Thank you. Still thinking of you!
As usual, I cried when I read that!! I cry a lot, whenever a memory comes to mind, and whenever I think of him. I expect that to go on for a long time, if not the rest of my life. I sort of thought you would be winding down on the blog, and I certainly understand. It has been so helpful for me to read it and I have saved everything in a file, which I am going to take to show his Grandma when I go up to Edmonton thie coming Sunday. Love, Mom
From someone who lost contact with Tyler and didn't find out about anything until after his passing, I am truly grateful for your words, pictures and memories.
This blog has truly helped me deal. I wish you a peaceful life.
This photo reminds me of one of the best days of my life. It was my cousin's wedding in Texas. We had an amazing vacation together. He was always the most distinguished, most handsome, most genuine person! I miss him, D!
Thank you for sharing and posting pics.
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