A new normal

I spent Christmas in Southern California with Dad and Ginny. It has been nice being here, but the missing is much stronger this time of year. I can remember the last Christmas Tyler spent here. It was 2007 and I was living here at the time. I had just moved here in mid-November and I was still adjusting. I was soooooooooooooooooo happy to see him and we had such a great time.

After he passed, I saw a grief counselor for a minute. I didn't like her much, but she did say one thing to me that really stuck. She said, "you have to find your new normal. You are forever changed by this experience." She was so right about that. I suppose I have found my new normal, but it involves a void that will never be filled. When I sit in that void and feel it, well...there's no pain quite like it. Nothing I've experienced anyway.

I miss you, Tyler. We all do. I love my life and the people in it, but I miss sharing all the joys and sorrows with you. You were the one with whom I always wanted to share my greatest news, even before shouting it from the rooftops. The void is forever void. There will always that piece missing from my new normal.