It's been a while since I've been to this place. When I say 'this place' I'm not referring to the lovely scene behind Tyler in this photo. Although it seems like a nice place to be, especially if I could find him sitting there waiting for me. The place to which I am referring is the place of sorrow and devastation. In the time it took me to upload this photo and write those first four sentences, I've been reduced to a blubbering mess. That is what happens when I visit this place. I've been really busy going on with my life and it's going really, really well. I've very excited about the things I'm doing and the things yet to come. I know Tyler would be excited for me too. He would want me to be busy creating the life I want and enjoying every minute.

That's all well and good, but the truth is I just want him to be here so I can tell him everything. I had a dream last night and he was there. That's not so unusual, but in this particular dream he was there because he had come back to life. Everyone else in the dream was acting like that was normal, as if his death had never occurred. I was the only one who was confused about where he came from and how... Even he was looking at me like he was surprised by my reaction. I don't know what the dream means, but I felt like writing it down. Maybe the timing of the dream has something to do with the fact that we planned a date for spreading Tyler's ashes and it happens to be two weeks from yesterday. Maybe it means I've neglected my grieving process because I've been busy with so many other things. Maybe it's random. I don't know.

I miss you, Tyler. I wish my dream could be real.