Today we went on a hike to celebrate Tyler's birthday and to pay homage to his too short life of 36 years. He had such a major impact on so many lives, and he was admired and loved by all of them. He would have been 37 today...
This was one of the views from the top of the very steep climb. We sat for a while and took in the sounds. The wind, the birds, and the beautiful sound of silence. I walked over to one side and took this photo. I had put a small portion of Tyler's ashes in a little baggie and I had it tightly clenched in my hand. It took me a few minutes to convince myself that I had brought it with me to leave it behind and I needed to let it go. I inched down the side of the hill a little and stood still again for a time, holding the little baggie in my palm. I opened it and held it in my hand for another minute or two. Then I took it by the bottom edge and, with a sweeping motion, I scattered the contents out in front of me. At precisely that moment I looked up and there were two hawks soaring directly above my head. One of them called out and the sound echoed against the hills. My breath caught in my throat. I had asked Tyler to give me a sign of his presence and I knew that was it. He knew that would get my attention. I had been crying before that moment, but seeing the hawks circling above me brought more tears. I was instantly filled up with his energy and I smiled up at the sky. I remember pointing out hawks to him on many occasions. He teased me about my fascination at first, but then he came to appreciate my affinity for them. After a while I think he started to look for them himself.
Thank you to everyone who lit their candles and sent Tyler birthday wishes today. I did light a candle later. I let it burn while I was getting ready for work. I imagined it on a birthday cake and when I blew it out I said, 'Happy Birthday, Ty.'
2 comments:
Beautiful post! Hawks are very affirming i got spine chills reading and that is a sign the spirit world is a part of the story. Huge hugs to you D. Nature seems to have wrapped itself around you and is holding you tight. Peace
I cried very hard upon reading this. I wish I could have seen the hawk, and I believe that was Ty saying hello to you just as you do. I am still sobbing as I am so touched by what you wrote, and that always helps my real feelings come flooding out! I think I must be blocking them somewhat these days. Thanks also for lighting the candle, and showing him that we are celebrating his birthday. Many, many friends let me know that they did it, and it made me feel good that there were so many candles to say Happy Birthday to him. Your writing was beautiful as usual, but especially heart-rending this time. Love you more than life itself, as I did your brother. Mom
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